I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
