She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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