He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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