At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
