I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
