Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
