A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife š¬
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him āBeast Modeā. So. Many. Orgasms.
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