what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
