He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
