Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize