that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
