Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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