Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
