How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
