Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
