My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
