Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
