Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
