Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
