xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
