It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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