So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
