It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
