I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
