Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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