Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
