D3 body, D1 cock
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
NoShamevember. You game?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
