I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
