The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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