He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
