Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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