"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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