Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize