Will you blow on my dice?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
