she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
third nipple confirmed
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
