end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
no, he came in my armpit
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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