I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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