Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
