He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
