I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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