do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
