I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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