Your face is a jimmy john
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
