whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
