areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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