She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize