Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
