It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
