if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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