We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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