Dual....:-)
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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