You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
