I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
