Whod you bang
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
