Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
