I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
