When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
