He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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