I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
