Your mouth is God's brothel.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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