shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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