i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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