Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
