I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
