I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
